The two words every mother dreads

Corn syrup.

And I’m not talking about in your child’s food. I’m talking about in your carpet.

Do you ever compose blog posts in your head before you actually type them? That’s what I was doing while mopping a foot-wide puddle of Karo from my linoleum and contemplating how in the world to get the circular swirls of it out of my carpet.

karo syrup. toddler. fun times.

My first instinct was vinegar, which I soaked on it and then wiped up and it’s not near as sticky now. My whole house is going to smell like a pickle. I already had the vinegar out yesterday when Sawyer thought it would be fun to take off his turd-filled diaper and then sit bare-butt on the carpet. Yes, we’re working on the potty.

I swear, this child could start World War III in five minutes with the way he’s able to destroy my house in the times it takes me to pee or get Beckett from his room. I know how my night will be spent: borrowing my parents’ steam cleaner and installing a lock on the pantry, which I thought about months ago and should have already done.

And in typical Sawyer fashion, there always has to be a finale: today it was peeing on the floor after I got him out of the bath tub in the 2.5 seconds it took me to find a diaper.

Cages. A good thing sometimes. (Kidding, of course, which I have to say or I’ll worry that someone will read my blog and think I’m inhumane and crate my kids like puppies.)

In all seriousness, the kid is not neglected. He’s just really good at causing chaos in no time flat. Ask my DH about the time he emptied a whole bottle of Windex onto the couch when they were in the SAME room together. I kid you not. This child is a master at watching for a turned back. And I think it makes us look like inattentive parents but anyone with a toddler knows how quickly it can happen. I’m just glad he’s not one of those that likes to climb on top of the TV and attempt to fly. Yeah, I think I’ll take his food obsession over death-defying super toddler.

On that note, I’m thinking it might be wise for us to invest in some hardwood floors. I don’t know how much more my carpet can take.

I did catch a cute picture of them today. Sawyer insisted on wearing my yellow shirt (which SHRUNK to half its original length in the dryer, and I am pissed, because I liked that shirt) and dancing around like a maniac. Beckett was enjoying the show.

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97 Responses to “The two words every mother dreads”


  1. Amanda

    ooh what a mess :( but that picture is adorable

  2. Melban

    OMG my son takes after you as I never remember doing stuff like that. Also I’m sure it will be tomorrow when he starts climbing onto the TV and jumping the the couch.

    What can I say except giving you sons guaranteed that you would never have a boring day.

  3. Keri

    HA!! That Sawyer is hilarious. It is a pain to clean those messes but he is so adorable…

  4. MomSmoo

    Oh – I have the super toddler! Trust me, it is a good thing L isn’t breakable because he would have done himself in already!

    Sawyer at least makes the stories fun!

  5. JoDee

    Your days are never dull, huh? I think Ashlee and Sawyer should get together. They could do something good w/ those minds of their’s, if they ever chose too! LOL! Ashlee is the queen of teh pantry too. She’s always into something she shouldn’t–and yes, it’s usually sticky!!! Hope you get the Karo out! I can’t imagine what a mess that would be!!

  6. Jess

    Sawyer and Preston would get along great. That sounds like something he has done before but he did it at my dad’s house on white carpet and eggs,dirt,dishwashing tabs and frozen food all on the floor. I was at work when it happened. I have come to the point of putting a lock on the fridge and need to get one on the pantry. He is adorable though.

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