Questioning everything, Part 2
Guys, thank you for the supportive and understanding comments on my last post. I laid in bed awake last night wondering if I should run downstairs and make the post private because I wasn’t sure what type of reaction to expect. But my readers are apparently made of WIN and AWESOME and now I am so glad I left it up.
After testing the waters with that post, so to speak, I have another thought-provoking question. For those of you who aren’t sure where you stand in the religious spectrum, how do you handle holidays like Christmas and Easter?
We have always done them with the boys without question – but I always feel guilty doing so. We haven’t ever explained to them the religious connotations and that feels kind of wrong to me, I guess. I have always hated how commercialized all the holidays are now so I guess I need to find a happy medium between making Christmas all about Jesus and all about Santa.
And I guess I should probably mention, we don’t really “do” Santa either. My kids know who Santa is but never will I give them any gifts on Christmas morning with Santa’s name on the tag. It’s a mixture of not wanting to lie to them and not wanting a fictitious fat dude getting credit for the hard work Mommy did. Mostly the latter.
So if we don’t do Jesus and don’t do Santa, what do we do? I can’t let myself be Evil Mom McSuckypants and not do Christmas at all. Logically I would say that we explain to them the history of Christmas, why it’s important to Christians, and also the history of Santa Claus. Is that acceptable? Or am I really not worthy of celebrating Christmas or Easter if I’m going to hell not a practicing Christian?
It’s been easy so far because my kids are too young to really understand any of it just yet. The time will come though when Sawyer will come home from preschool with a million and one questions about why there’s a donkey and a giant star and a baby in a manger and I need to be ready with all the answers.
So. What do you do?
We’ve gone back & forth & around about this too. Joel and I were both raised in Church… he was even a youth pastor when I met him (and did you notice our cross tattoos?)… so yeah, we’ve both questioned/changed our beliefs quite a bit in the past few years.
For now what we’ve decided about christmas and stuff is to just keep it as simple as we can. I love all of the traditions and stuff, but I don’t want to “do” santa either. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with celebrating the holiday or season, regardless of beliefs.
We do have a nativity set, though of course he’s still too young to really notice or care about much. But I suppose when he asks we’ll tell him the story – and that some people believe it is true and some people think it’s just a story, like Santa. Who knows.. I’m in no rush to answer these questions either.
I remember as kid being so scared about all the “hell” talk. Like really terrified. We’ve had to be very careful around certain relatives because I would be furious if any of them try to scare my kid like that, in an effort to “save” them. We’ve already heard about not baptizing them and not taking nathan to sunday school (he’s freaking TWO!!!)… Ok sorry, end rant
I agree! I have some guilt about those holidays. I was raised thinking those were important days because of Jesus. Conrad was raised opposite.
With Connor, he did come & ask us about Jesus. He also asked about Easter & Christmas. He knows the meaning yet knows the Santa side, too. We told him that “everyone celebrates in different ways” & he understood.
When he was younger I would sit back & worry what his questions would be & how I would answer them. Come to find out, when he has asked I have answered & to my surprise just talking it out with him settles his curiosity. I’ve always been honest with him. I’ve learned to “roll with it”. Kids will ask if they are curious. If Con came to me today & asked if Santa was real I would tell him – we certainly don’t “praise Santa” but there is something magical about Santa that I think is special & is the reason why we do “celebrate with Santa” with our kids.
For us, the boys will know both sides but will know that everyone celebrates differently. They can choose how they want to celebrate with their own kids. For now they’re mine!! LOL
*quick story* My friends mom was like you in the sense of not wanting Santa to take all the credit. One year her son said to her that Santa got him everything but you didn’t get me anything mom… Needless to say, she ruined it for him right then and there.
I don’t really know what to do. I have told my husband (even before I was pregnant) that I wasn’t sure if I wanted to play Santa in our house and he frowned at that idea. I like the celebration and giving gifts, but I don’t know if I want to lie to my daughter. I found out very young there was no such thing… I caught on to my mom’s handwriting when I was 5. My mom got pregnant when I was 8 and when my brother was born I was forced to ” believe ” again for the sake of not ruining it. I finally had to convince him in middle school there was no such thing. I can’t believe that he actually thought Santa was real for that long.
We kinda have time to buy… as this year Isla will only be 6 months at Christmas. My family always did gifts on Easter too. I guess my main focus will be family. We don’t attend church, but I do think it’s important to have these holidays to spend with people. Easter egg hunt, secret Santa… I can tell you’re creative, you could definitely start your own traditions within your household if you haven’t already.
I’m not sure what will become of our holidays… I just know I’m not going to be like my mother trying to take away Halloween cos it is Satan’s Holiday. *shakes head*
Hell, I dunno.
I was raised without holidays so I have no history with any of it. I guess our main purpose for holidays is togetherness with family. For Christmas, we go to Kansas. That’s a special time for us because we get to see Tim’s family. So far, we haven’t had to deal with the Santa-Jesus-Easter Bunny questions and I guess I’ll just take them as they come and be informative about it and let them make up their own minds. ? I don’t know if that’ overestimating a child’s abilities. We’ll see I guess.
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