Tattoos and Drool

That Mom

I was about to post that despite all the boys in my house being sick for the past week, the baby and I have somehow managed to escape the germs thus far. But as soon as I say that, I’ll wake up with a skull full of snot and be picking more boogers out of Avonlea’s nose than I do already, so I won’t go there. Instead, I’ll say that I predict we’ll be hacking and snotting within a couple days, considering our faces have been the direct target of eleventeen sneezes over the past two days. You know, the whole droplet thing and all.

I kept Sawyer home from school yesterday, which broke my heart because it’s only his second week and the theme for the week was “my family.” He seemed much better by early evening yesterday so I decided he was fine to go back today. When I picked him up, his teacher informed me that he had green snot. WHAT. I had seen no such thing before I dropped him off and in fact didn’t think his nose had been running at all. But apparently it had and suddenly I was That Mom. The one everyone else silently crosses off the Christmas party list because she sends her sick kid to school to infect the entire preschool population.

Dudes, let me tell you, it’s more than humiliating to feel the other moms burning holes into the back of your head with their eyes while the teacher is smacking your hand for bringing green snot into her classroom. I’m kinda traumatized.

And speaking of school? He already brought home a book club order form. BOOK CLUB. You know, Scholastic? Dozens of book choices compiled into a little newsprint booklet? Yeah, he’s already point out seven books he wants. I thought I had at least one more year before this crap started. But at least it’s just books and not a hokey Christmas wrap and boxed candies fundraiser. Those I’m even less excited about.

Tomorrow there’s a meeting for the Parent Teacher Fellowship (our school’s version of the PTA) and I’m kind of not that excited about it. I’ve already scoped out the moms of his classmates and I’m quite easily one of the youngest, and definitely the least conservative. Doesn’t exactly make for an easy icebreaker. I’ll keep holding out hope that I’ll be pleasantly surprised, though.

I think deep down I’m just worried that no one will like me, and in turn, they won’t want their kids to be friends with mine. Yeah, apparently my middle school self-consciousness has snuck its way into adulthood. I guess now I’m That Mom too.

Trying not to worry too much – he does a decent job of attracting friends on his own.

Top Five

I’m so excited to have found Girl Talk Thursday via the lovely Mommy Melee. This week’s topic – your top five. As in, the five people you’re allowed to boink, no strings attached, whether you’re in a relationship or not. (Calm down, it’s all in good fun.) I admittedly have never had a list before now, so it took some brainstorming (and Googling “badass actresses” – shut up) to come up with all five.

1. Michael C. Hall

If you haven’t seen Dexter – you should. I’ve lusted after Michael C. Hall ever since I saw the first episode. In short, he’s a quirky serial killer who works as a blood spatter analyst for the Miami PD. And there’s a steamy sex scene in one episode that pretty much sealed the deal. I wanted to name a child after Dexter, if that tells you how much I obsess over this show. He’s in the new movie Gamer too. Yum.

2. Ami James

He’s an arrogant jackass on Miami Ink and 99% of the time I can’t stand him. But LOOK at him. Plus, he was a sniper in the Israeli army. BAD. ASS. Enough said.

3. Mark Hoppus

Blink-182 was my favorite band in high school, and some of that crazed fanatic mentality has leaked over into adulthood. I loved Mark Hoppus then, and I still love him now.

4. Jim Carrey

Okay, don’t laugh. Seriously. Beauty is more than skin deep, right? For the record, I don’t really find Jim Carrey physically attractive. Actually, I used to loathe the guy. Hated his movies. To the point that I refused to watch them. But now that he’s partnered with Jenny McCarthy, taken a stand against vaccines and been an advocate for her son? He has my heart all aflutter. Nothing more sexy than a man who is passionate about the same things you are. Jenny calls him the “Autism Whisperer” meaning that “he speaks a language Evan understands, and Evan feels safe with him.” Um, SWOON.

5. Billie Piper

Rent Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Watch the episode where Billie’s character, Belle de Jour, teams up with another call girl to work a threesome. Thank me later.

Over the hump

So, did anyone notice anything special about the picture I posted? Anyone? Bueller?

Look a little closer and you’ll see that my baby girl’s scrumptious cheeks are RASH FREE! Thank you, Aveeno baby wash and Hydrocortisone cream. No more angry red hives or crusty ears. Now I can move on to worrying about other things, like that annoying flat spot she’s developing from having a right side preference, or that her poop may possibly not be the right shade of honey Dijon yellow. Lets hope I learn to stop obsessing over everything by the time she’s twelve.

My emotional state has improved tenfold in the past week or so. Thanks, in part, to a massive blow out in which I aired all my thoughts and fears to DH and he thankfully didn’t declare me loony toons and run for the hills. And also thanks to a baby who sleeps amazingly well so I haven’t had to deal with any sleep deprivation thus far.

I used to think that a newborn being a good sleeper was a myth and anyone who said they had one was lying through their teeth (although I still secretly hated them and wanted to land a swift punch right in their well-rested eye). A quick read through my archives will have you understanding the sleep hell I dealt with when Beckett was a baby. But Avonlea is different. I now know that easy babies DO exist. I also know I had every reason to hate those bitches because it is A-FLIPPING-MAZING. You’re free to hate me, too. But I was about due for an easy one this time around, if you ask me. DH is loving it too, because it means he doesn’t have to walk a stroller around the block at three in the morning every. single. day. Thanks for that, Beckett. Yes, the man is a saint.

I should probably stop talking about it now, because my superstitious subconscious won’t stop whispering that it’s going to come back and bite me in the ass in a couple months. That’d be my luck.

We have a busy weekend ahead, filled with cleaning and packing and my first Tupperware party tomorrow. (Which, by the way, if you’re just dying to get your hands on some air-tight-sealed goodness, jump over to my website!) Avonlea has an appointment with our chiropractor tomorrow afternoon to deal with this pesky side preference. Sunday will be devoted to packing, making lists, checking off those lists and then checking again to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything, as well as cat-proofing the house so they can’t destroy anything while we’re gone. And then we’re leaving bright and early Monday morning for the 8-hour trip to the land of cheese curds and no cell phone service, aka Wisconsin.

Eight hours.

With three kids.

I have a feeling the DVD player in the Pilot will become my new best friend, so much so that I may want to name my next child after it, much like babies end up being named Bob or Gary thanks to a good anesthesiologist. Samsung Melban has a nice ring to it.

Surviving

We are surviving. And doing a pretty good job of it, if you ask me. I might even say we are thriving. After I kind of dropped off the face of the earth with my last post about being so incredibly scared of life with three children, it probably gave a bad impression. But really, I’m doing okay.

That first week alone went HEAPS better than I could have ever expected or imagined. Avonlea is a dream baby. Seriously. I have never met such a laid back, easy going, happy newborn. I think she must have known that mama needed a little help because I don’t know if I could have survived having another high needs infant. I am so grateful.

The week after that, my mom and sister came down and stayed for a week, which was heavenly. One of my biggest issues is feeling completely alone, and for a whole week I was surrounded by the people I love and didn’t have to be lonely. Not having them close by is so hard. SO incredibly hard. Those of you have have family nearby, no matter how crazy they make you sometimes, CHERISH IT. You don’t know how lucky you are.

The past few days, we’ve been thrown another curve ball that has sent my anxiety through the roof. Avonlea developed a rash on her face. It started out as a couple little red pimples and just multiplied from there. I figured we were just getting plagued with baby acne again and would have to ride it out. But it kept getting worse, and by Monday her whole face, ears and scalp were covered with a raised, crusty rash. I called the pediatrician, which I rarely do, and took her in. “Oh, yes, that just looks like baby acne. There’s nothing you can do but wait.” Really? This is baby acne?

I wish the picture was able to capture how red and inflamed this rash looks, because it’s bad. It is absolutely killing me to see my precious baby this way. So needless to say, I was not content with the pediatrician’s “diagnosis.” *insert gigantic eyeroll here* So yesterday, we saw our wonderful midwives, who took one look at the rash and said, “It’s yeast.” I cried. Both because I was glad to have an answer and because I was terrified. I’m sure every mom has heard the horror stories about how resistant yeast can be. What if I can’t get rid of this? What if it gets worse, and turns into thrush on top of this incredibly ugly rash that already makes people stare and question?

I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and just take it one day at a time, but that’s just what my mind does. It latches onto the worst possible scenario and runs like lightning with it. I keep thinking “everything will be so much easier when this is gone!” I hate it. I want my perfect little baby back. I don’t want her to have to deal with this.

So for now we’re doing two things. Applying apple cider vinegar topically to change the pH of her skin, and – this part really sucks – I have to remove all sugars and simple carbohydrates from my diet for at least two weeks. Awesome, no? I’m only on day two and I’m already struggling. I am just not a meat and veggies girl, and well, that’s about all I can eat. So it sucks. But I’ll do it because I really don’t want to deal with this for even one more day. Avie is such a sweetheart and any time I’d take her out before the rash, I’d get tons of ooooohs and how cutes and so preciouses. Now, no one says anything. I’ll see their eyes light up as I walk by with the carseat, and then they get a glimpse of her and quickly walk away. It breaks my heart. Maybe that’s vain? I don’t know. But it sucks.

So that’s where we are right now. My kids are awesome but I’m struggling emotionally because of something I can’t control, so hopefully what we’re doing works. I feel like it consumes me right now and I want to be done with it so I can just enjoy her again.

24-week Bump Report

It’s official – I feel huge. Not just in my belly but everywhere. My back fat is growing, people. UGH. I wish I could be one of those women who stays stick thin and gains 15 pounds her whole pregnancy, but I’m just not. I have such a huge appetite and I figure if I’m hungry, the baby must need the nutrients, so I eat. I gained 60 pounds with both of the boys and easily lost it each time, so I’m trying not to stress over it, but I still hate blimping up in the meantime. I fully expect to start getting the “Oh my GAWDDDD are you SURE it’s not twinzzzz?!?!?!” comments soon. My belly is all baby, just like it was the last two times. I have to say, I love the way I carry my babies straight out in front.

Other than that I’m feeling pretty good. Trying to keep my activity level up, although I don’t always have a lot of energy. Having two whirlwinds running rampant all over the house helps with the activity. Heartburn is worse than with Beckett but not as bad as with Sawyer. I’m feeling the baby move a lot more these days, mostly down low and to the sides. Not a lot of activity above the belly button yet. She was hanging out head down with her back to my right side at my last appointment so I think a lot of what I feel is a kick from her feets on the left which bumps her body into my right. It’s total cuteness.

I broke down and bought some maternity pants over the weekend. Up until now I’d just been wearing my regular jeans with a Bella Band over them. It was a nice boost of confidence. But the zipper was starting to dig in and the ol’ hips were getting too wide, so I went for a pair of these from Motherhood. HEAVEN. So freakin’ comfortable, seriously. On the shirt front, I’m still wearing normal ones. I hate maternity clothes with a passion. The tent look is so not me. Luckily, long shirts are in right now. I snagged a few from Rue 21 that I’m pretty sure will last me my whole pregnancy because they’re so freakishly long. Then after the baby’s born I can just dry them on high to shrink them up. Yay recycling!

I’m having a lot of trouble getting around already, which I guess is to be expected with this being my 5th pregnancy, 3rd to make it past the first trimester. My hips ache horribly after laying down for any length of time, and the pain in my pubic bone is excruciating. It feels like it’s splitting in half when I stand up. Probably the early stages of SPD, which I luckily escaped the last two times. I need to bring it up with my midwife and maybe start seeing a chiropractor. Because with 16+ more weeks to go, it’s certainly not going to get any better on its own, and I’d prefer not to need a walker complete with tennis balls before I birth this kid.

My dreams are becoming more and more vivid as the weeks go on, as well as incredibly twisted most nights. I dream every single time I fall asleep, even after getting up to pee in the wee hours of the morning. Which means I have 2-4 dreams per night. Most are nightmarish and leave me not wanting to fall back asleep. Should probably discuss this with the midwife as well. I’m hoping there’s an extra supplement I can take that will help.

Next update: 28 weeks. Getting closer!